Caine Blog

Bouley, the Tribeca pillbox/fancy restaurant, has a killer lunch menu - 6 courses for $48 and of course endless amuses bouches.  The best part, though, is the carpet.  Unlike in France, where cushy flooring seems mandatory for a three star grab, you don’t see too much carpet on restaurant floors around here.   This makes total sense, obviously, but there’s something wonderful about spilling breadcrumbs on a carpet - try sweeping them up!  You can’t!  You need to vacuum!  It’s like being Louis XIV.

When my roommate finally runs out of options and has no choice but to get his ass transferred to a medium-sized Midwestern city, this is where we shall have his final meal.  We will leave the restaurant drunk and with gastrointestinal issues, and we will feel like rich young Turks without a care in the world.  And then we will get back to Williamsburg, spit in the face of anyone with a beard, pillage Barcade and render it inoperable (inadvertently forcing patrons to actually speak with one another), loudly boo every band at Union Pool, contaminate the Levee’s taps with laxatives, and then head to Hotel Delmano and drink some more.