Caine Blog

Computer is broken, sitting in the shop like dead weight.  No posts.  But I had to be roused from my postless coma to mention how shitty the following NYT piece is.  Entitled “12 Year Old’s a Food Critic, and the Chef Loves It,” this is the worst piece of journalism for the entire month of November.  A taste, so to speak:

Everyone’s a critic, and apparently it’s never too soon to start.

That’s why David Fishman, an Upper West Sider who turned 12 last month, decided to take himself out for dinner one night last week. His parents had called him at home to say they were running late, suggesting that he grab some takeout at the usual hummus place.

Hummus, again? David thought he could do better than that.

He had recently passed by the newly opened Salumeria Rosi, a few blocks from his home, and had been intrigued by the reflective black back wall, the cuts of dried pork hanging from the ceiling, the little jars of cured olives and artichokes adorning the walls. If it was O.K. with his mom (and it turned out it was), he wanted to try that instead.

David aspires to be a food critic — he has some vague notion that he could make a living writing for the Zagat guides — and the new Italian spot on Amsterdam Avenue near 73rd Street seemed worthy of investigation.

That night, Tuesday, turned out to be one of the first that the restaurant was open to the public. David requested a menu, which the hostess handed him, and decided that it was within his budget ($25). Then he asked for a table for one and waited to see what she’d say. A year before, he had been turned away from a half-empty restaurant in Montauk and told that it did not serve children unaccompanied by adults. “I was angry, but I didn’t show it,” he said. “What can you do?”

This mindfuck hits all the NYT local beat puff standards:

• Precocious rich kid with an eccentric, Rushmore-esque mien
• Exasperated but proud parents
• Comical treatment of money
• The feeling that the whole thing takes place in a parallel universe

No more, NYT!  No more!  Do your job!  For shame, Susan Dominus!